Relationships

Looking for Work-Life Balance? Here’s What to Do Instead.

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Has your BFF or partner said this to you lately: “You need to find some balance between your work and home-life.”?  

 

Actually, they may not have said that to you, they may have shouted that AT you while you were pinging from work stuff to family stuff to everything in between.

 

Does this scenario sound all too familiar?

 

If you struggle with the balancing act of work and life — first of all — know you’re not alone (we battle with it as well).

 

And also, keep in mind there’s a different way to view “balance”.

 

Here’s what we’re talking about…

 

 

Is Work-Life Balance a Myth?

 

Did your mom stay home to raise you and she thinks you should do the same?

Did your dad work long hours and weekends to provide the “best possible life” for you?

Does your sibling(s) buck the family system and believe you should live it up as much as possible?

Does your grandma harp on you to not work weekends?

 

Whatever scenario you were raised in, when it comes to the beliefs around what it takes to achieve work-life balance, there comes a time when YOU have to know what you believe.

 

So many times, we take in the world around us without filtering and deciphering what truly works for us — not for mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa and great uncle Steve.

 

That’s why we have to ask ourselves, “Is work-life balance a myth?”

 

Work-life balance may not exist at all, because oftentimes, we’re living out someone else’s version of it— not our own.

 

So, what do you do when work-life balance is a myth?

Seek alignment.

 

Align-who, you might be asking.

Let us explain…

 

 

Work-Life Alignment

No, we’re not talking about going to the chiropractor and getting adjusted (although, that can help, too).

 

What we’re talking about is alignment with your work-life…not balance.

 

“Aim for work-life alignment by crafting a meaningful professional life that matches up with who you are and what’s important to you.” – Patricia Thompson, Ph.D

 

The work-life concept described by Patricia Thompson, Ph.D integrates your core values, meaningful relationships, and awareness of what areas in your life are not fully aligned.

So what does that look like in everyday life?

How to Seek Work-Life Alignment 

Ever thought your life was on the hot mess express? We’ve probably all been there and that’s why the harder we seek balance in work-life, the farther away that “goal” becomes.

Why? Because life is full of ups and downs and the more we work with them, the easier alignment can be.

Here are some tips on how to move towards more work-life alignment:

• Seek relationships, friendships, and circumstances that lift you up; not drain you.

If your work is a source of contention look at other areas of your life that can help ease that work burden. That might mean saying buy-bye to that toxic friend you keep around for no good reason or asking for help from your partner around the house.

• Accept that balance is a myth + integrate your values.

What can you take with you everywhere you go? Your core values.

Whether that looks like working a little extra one week because you have upcoming travel, or getting your meal-prep on like the boss that you are so you can eat what helps you feel your best — it’s all about integrating the things that matter most to you.

Not every day or week will look the same and oftentimes, accepting that work-life alignment looks different from time-to-time can help you feel good about showing up fully as your best self — in work and life.

• Drop the guilt.

If you’re a human then you know life is not always linear (even as hard as we try to make it be).

Life is full of hiccups and speed-bumps, roaring highways and curvy mountain roads. When we can stop throwing guilt and shame on ourselves, life can open up in ways that give us options to take the slow lane, or pass the Sunday drivers — but only when we realize we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

So drop the guilt and raise your glass to riding the waves of work-life alignment — with your core values intact and more areas of your life — than not — that fill you up!


RENEW | 719.423.0083


2018 Reflections from Dr. Elijah + Charmayne

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“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

– Dolly Parton

  

With 2018 coming to a close – we decided to look back on this year with some reflections + life lessons we’re definitely taking with us into 2019 and beyond.

  

We hope these nuggets help you!

 

 

Dr. Elijah | 2018 Reflections

  

•  Life’s too short to be offended by everything. 

I think taking offense to everything just makes us angry all the time. I got caught up in all the politics for a while, but I felt myself just being triggered by others and that made me feel anger and irritation, so I blocked the negativity on social media. Often times the power really does belong within us!

 

•  Encourage your kid to graduate early. 

Not only does this save you a lot of money, it also allows your kid to jump into a possible career earlier or get in some travel before starting a job.

  

•  Starting a new business and renovating a building is hard work! 

When I embarked on starting a new business and renovating a building, I never could have imagined what those two endeavors could entail. I have new admiration for all those entrepreneurs out there and showing up every day – especially when curveballs get thrown your way!  

 

 

Charmayne | 2018 Reflections

 

•  Friends are the family you choose for yourself.

I’ve learned blood isn’t the only requirement for family – it can also be friends who come into your life and make your world SO much better. I’m grateful I’ve embraced friends who are just like family to me.

 

•  Self-care is not selfish.

Taking care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally is an absolute requirement before you can even think about taking “care” of anyone else. It may have taken me a while to learn this one, but I’m happy I can see the benefit of self-care (like, don’t even come at me if I haven’t done at least 10 burpees)!

 

•  Nourish connections.

Sometimes you find connections with people you never thought would be a part of your life. I’ve learned not to shirk those bonds – even when I can’t fully understand why a certain person was placed in my life. Whether someone is in your life for a particular reason, a specific season or throughout your lifetime – soak all the lessons in that you can!

 

 

Here’s to all the life lessons that’s shaped you throughout this year + the lessons carrying you into the new year.

 

 

Cheers, 2019 –

Dr. Elijah + Charmayne

I’m Turning 50-Years-Old & I’m Back!

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This has been a crazy year for me…

 

I bought a building and am starting a medical spa – and all of a sudden, I find myself working more, not less.

  

What the heck have I gotten myself into? 

I'm a doctor not a business person.

Or am I a business person?

 

To top it all off, I turn 50. 

What the F*CK! 

 

Perimenopause has more than set in and thank God I have a patient husband; perimenopause has not been kind to me. 

 

I'm moody, can't sleep, hot, central weight gain, bloated, nauseated, itchy, and tired.

 

There was a time that I thought to myself, I can't do this. I can hardly get up in the morning and feel good enough to take care of patients. 

 

However – and eventually, thankfully – a few of my male patients started talking to me about getting trained to do testosterone pelleting. 

 

These men were tired of driving to Colorado Springs from Pueblo, Colorado.

 

It took me a while to listen to them, but I finally attended a BioTE® training (Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy).

 

While I was at the BioTE® training, I’m thinking to myself, “This is me!”

I got pelleted during the training and haven’t looked back.

 

 

Why didn't I learn all of this in medical school? 

Why is traditional medicine against this treatment? 

The answers to those questions are very political and too much to discuss in this blog. 

 

The bottom line is: I'm BACK. 

 

I'm ready to take this on (most days).  

 

I have a new calling and it starts with helping men and women feel better inside and then I can help them feel better outside too.  

 

50-Years-Old + Aging Like Fine Wine,

Rochelle Elijah

 

 

10 Ways to Bring That Spark Back to Your Relationship

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Is the seven-year itch true?

 

Do relationships hit a certain point at that 7-year mark and everything just goes downhill?

 

According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher (who studied if the 7-year itch really did exist) says, “I began by studying worldwide data on marriage and divorce and noticed that although the median duration of marriage was seven years, of the couples who divorced, most did so around their fourth year together…”

 

Are we talking four-year itch now instead of seven?

 

Now, we’re no biological anthropologist and have no studies under our belt, but we definitely have some tips and tricks up our sleeve to help you go the distance in your relationship.

 

Whether you’re in a new relationship, or you’ve spent plenty of time celebrating anniversaries – sometimes that spark gets lost along the way.

 

In a relationship…

Sometimes we get in a rut.  

Sometimes we take for granted the other person.

Sometimes we need to press the reset button and start over.

 

Wherever you’re at in the journey with your partner, we conjured up 10 ways to bring that spark back to your relationship.

 

Let’s dig in…

 

 

10 Ways to Bring That Spark Back to Your Relationship

  

1.    Check Yourself – Women -- especially if you’re nearing, or in menopause -- go through so many hormonal changes that you may not be aware are affecting you.

 

If you feel out of whack, or experience symptoms such as fatigue, weight gain, low sex drive and/or mood and sleep disturbances speak with your doctor who can run tests and potentially recommend treatment options that will help you get back to being you again.

 

2.    Communicate – How many times do you just flat out not listen to your partner? Most often your partner is giving you cues and signals as to what is going on with them (bad day at work, not feeling so hot, contemplating a career change, etc.) without saying anything.

 

Listen, be open and it doesn’t hurt to learn what love language you and your partner speak (take the quiz), so you both communicate better.

 

3.    Go Back in Time – We know the past isn’t a great place to live. However, think about the time when you first met -- what did you do for fun? How did you connect? Remember how it all started and what kept you moving forward and cultivate that now.

 

4.    Be Playful – Seek adventure. Go on a date somewhere outside your comfort zone. Play laser tag. Flirt. Be spontaneous. Do something different. Make play a priority in your relationship and see a new side of each other.

 

5.    Be Kind – This might sound like, well duh, but how often do you initiate a small act of kindness? Make your partners lunch. Buy their favorite ice cream. Pick up the towel. Say “thank you” more often. Acknowledge their best attributes.

 

6.    Kiss Me – Not only is a smooch a big sign of love, it’s also good for your health. In one study -- decreased cholesterol and stress, with increased relationship satisfaction – was noted. Now go on and get your kiss on!

 

7.    Connect More – Whether that be ramping up your sex life, or cuddling on the couch during a Netflix binge, physical connection is helpful to bring that spark back to your relationship. And it doesn’t require a lot of time; just a few minutes of a strong embrace can help you feel on the same page with your partner.

 

8.    Hit the Pillow Together – By going to bed together at the same time you can use those occasions to share more deeply about your day, or what you’re going through – uninterrupted.

 

With kids, activities and a career, it’s sometimes difficult to connect during the day. But, once both of your heads hit the pillow, you are literally in your own little world. Enjoy it – even if it’s just a sweet “I love you” and bedtime cuddles.

 

9.    Express Yourself – Many times, we hold back because we don’t know what our partner will think about a sudden idea or change of heart. Express whatever you’re going through.

 

Nobody stays the exact same over time, we grow as humans and so should a relationship. Express yourself (thoughts, ideas, etc.) so you both can grow together through different experiences.

 

10.   Talk to Someone – Whether that be a therapist, couples’ counseling, or your best friend – talk it out. You’re not alone and there’s no shame in seeking help and outside guidance for yourself and/or your relationship.

 

 

Don’t let little snags along the way weigh down your relationship.

With these tips and your openness to get to know yourself and each other – sparks will be ready to fly!

 

 

Next Steps

Wonder if hormones play a part in your life and how they affect your relationship?

Dr. Elijah would love to help you get your happy hormones back – 719.553.2201 or request an appointment below.